My husband and I have been together for eleven years now. Anyone who reads my blog knows that I believe in open, honest communication in all aspects of life: parenting, business, friendships, and romantic relationships. A big part of that communication is showing appreciation, even for the little stuff. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
In my relationship, it’s almost become habit to say “thank you” for the little things. My husband will thank me for making dinner, even if all I did was microwave left-overs. When we tell each other that we appreciate the little things we do for each other, we keep a constant flow of dopamine and serotonin going in our brains, helping us to feel happier. This helps us when the big things happen.
Being in isolation is hard, there’s no other way to put it. But I’m in isolation with my husband – someone who loves me, appreciates me, and shows me how much he loves and appreciates me on a regular basis.
Appreciation consists of more than just saying, “thank you.” This morning, my husband is making breakfast for me. The act itself shows how much he appreciates me, especially when he was so apprehensive about cooking when we first met. He didn’t think he would be able to do it. Now, eleven years later, he is willing to try almost anything in the kitchen. He’ll even trust me when I deviate from the recipes.
Since being in isolation he’s been teaching me java. He spends all day writing code for work, then spends a lot of his off time writing code for his personal projects, and on top of that, he takes time to teach me how to code. That’s time he could be spending with his friends on Final Fantasy XIV, or he could be relaxing in front of the television. Instead, he is helping me improve myself. That’s showing me a level of appreciation that I hope I can live up to.
Appreciation permeates everything in a relationship from the small, everyday things, to the big transformational events. Along with communication, it’s one of the foundational values that holds a relationship together. If you appreciate the little things your partner does every day, it’s more likely you’ll be able to appreciate the big things, too.
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